Communication is very important in saving a relationship. Discover the tips below on how to talk and listen effectively with your partner.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” the first question you really need to be asking yourself is if you should save it. No matter what type of relationship it is, family, friend, or lover, all relationships will have normal ups and downs. If it seems like you have far more bad times than good, and it’s an important relationship worth saving, then it’s time to see what can be done to make things better.
The first thing you have to remember is that you can’t fix a bad relationship all on your own, if your partner isn’t interested in trying then the relationship is already over, even though you haven’t realized it yet.
If, on the other hand, your partner seems just as willing as you are to try to figure out what the problems are, even if it means they have to make some changes too, and work on fixing them then here are some tips that may help:
1. Communication. I know you’ve probably heard this before but it is the number 1 way to fix a relationship, or tear a relationship apart when one or both of the partners lack good communication skills. This isn’t just about talking, it’s also about listening. It’s about the way you say things and not just what you say.
For example, let’s say that a guy tends to go out with his buddies a lot and his girlfriend feels neglected and unloved. If she wants to talk to her boyfriend about it, which do you think will get a better response: yelling at him and calling him names then bursting into tears and give him the silent treatment for a week, or set a time when neither of you is overly tired or in a hurry and calmly tell him how you feel, no yelling, name calling or accusations. Just a mature conversation between two adults. Which approach do you think might make the most impact?
Of course, the response you get when you use the proper approach will tell you volumes about where your guy is coming from. If you calmly tell him that you’d like to spend more time with him and ask him to not spend quite as much time with his friends and he shuts you down or makes no attempt to change than he’s given you his answer: he just doesn’t care that much about you or your relationship. If this is the case, it’s time to move on. Kick him to the curb and move on.
2. Once the two of you have committed to try to talk to each other, and listen to each other, in a more healthy, productive way the next thing you need to do is try to find some common ground. What types of things did the two of you do when you first met, and why aren’t you still doing them together? Can you start doing some of those old activities again? If not, why not try to find some new things that you can both really enjoy and that will allow the two of you more quality time together?
People say all the time that relationships are hard, I personally don’t believe that. I think if you’re with the right person for you and you’re not trying to pretend that the person you’re with is right for you just because you are too afraid to find someone else, than the relationship is actually pretty easy and doesn’t have too many bumps in the road.
When it comes to your relationships, stop trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, instead take the time to find someone that you are truly compatible with and your relationship will bring both of you a lot of joy. If you follow this saving a relationship approach you’ll never have to ask: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” again. You’re relationship will be wonderful and you’ll both be happy.
Photo courtesy: jeremywadian
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