If your relationship is on the rocks you have probably spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering “how do I save my relationship.” You may have probably rifled through web pages and books searching for that one answer to solving your marriage problems. The simple fact though is that all of the reading and searching is not going to resolve real issues. Instead, it takes two people to figure out what went wrong and how to get back on the right track.

If your relationship is on the skids, the first thing to do is for you and your partner to ask yourself a few simple questions. You both have to see that there is a problem and you both have to have the desire to fix it, if you can do that you will be back on the path to bliss before you know it.

Questions for you and your partner to discuss.

1. How do you feel about me right now? Be completely honest, if you are angry say so, hurt by your partner admit it. There is a strong possibility that your partner has no idea how you feel or that they have hurt you.

2. Are you both committed to working through your problems? Any relationship is a big commitment and a lot of difficult work. That is exacerbated when there are problems. If you are not both fully committed to the process of working through your problems it will be difficult to save your marriage.

3. What do I still love about my partner? In the midst of hurt and anger it is easy to forget why you first fell in love with someone and all of the things that that person brings to your life. Taking a few moments to remind yourself and your partner can give you both loads of reassurance that your relationship can be saved.

4. What specific things are frustrating me about our marriage? This is the time to discuss everything, even those small annoyances that add up to big headaches over time. Try not to be petty or mean, just honest. Again, your partner might not realize that when they leave a mess in the bathroom it is not just annoying but something that you feel is truly disrespectful to you. If you can discuss these things amicably you might find a solution or at least that there is not malice in your beloveds actions.

The answer to your question: how to save your relationship — begins with talking to your partner. You can read all of the books and articles that you want, but until the two of you sit down and have a real conversation there is no way to resolve your marital strife.

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